It was twenty years ago today,
The clerk taught me how to sign my name like a lawyer,
When she gave me that damn important oath to uphold the Constitution and the laws of the United
States and even California
Since those economically depressed days of the early 90s,
Different employment torts have been going in and out of style
But my briefs and closing arguments have been guaranteed to raise a smile
So may I introduce to you,
All the acts I’ve learned over the years.
The Bad Ass mother fuckin’ employee lawyer
California State Bar Number 166003
The Defendants have not enjoyed his lawsuits
They can’t sit back and let the lawsuit go un-defensed
So they hurl papers his way, he gotta oppose
And arguments you would not believe,
Made up, and out of sight, by their two bit story telling lawyers
It’s not been so wonderful to represent some of these clients
The judges have certainly been a pain
But to practice law is such a privilege
I’d like to represent you
I’d love to win your case
I don’t really want to resign from the bar
But I thought that you might like to know
How hard the struggle has been advancing all those costs
So I want to have a perpetual client cost account
But I don’t want to get in trouble like Mr. Yagman
So let me introduce to you, the one and only holder of the California EMPLAW license plate
And Mister State Bar Number 166003 in California, 24001607 in Texas, and who cares what in D.C. and Massachusetts!
Karl Gerber (SBA 166003)
November 23, 2013