It was twenty years ago today

It was twenty years ago today,

The clerk taught me how to sign my name like a lawyer,

When she gave me that damn important oath to uphold the Constitution and the laws of the United

 States and even California


Since those economically depressed days of the early 90s,

Different employment torts have been going in and out of style

But my briefs and closing arguments have been guaranteed to raise a smile

So may I introduce to you,

All the acts I’ve learned over the years.

The Bad Ass mother fuckin’ employee lawyer


California State Bar Number 166003

The Defendants have not enjoyed his lawsuits

They can’t sit back and let the lawsuit go un-defensed

So they hurl papers his way, he gotta oppose

And arguments you would not believe,

Made up, and out of sight, by their two bit story telling lawyers


It’s not been so wonderful to represent some of these clients

The judges have certainly been a pain

But to practice law is such a privilege

I’d like to represent you

I’d love to win your case


 I don’t really want to resign from the bar

 But I thought that you might like to know

How hard the struggle has been  advancing all those costs

So I want to have a perpetual client cost account

But I don’t want to get in trouble like Mr. Yagman

So let me introduce to you, the one and only holder of the California EMPLAW license plate

And Mister State Bar Number 166003 in California, 24001607 in Texas, and who cares what in D.C. and Massachusetts!


Karl Gerber (SBA 166003)

November 23, 2013